The damage caused by emotional abuse and what you can do to heal
Emotional abuse, a misunderstood form of trauma, is a serious type of abuse that can occur in many different and often, unsuspecting ways. The form of behavior is designed to control, manipulate, belittle, harm or exert power over the victim. This type of allusive abuse—which is often overlooked as it leaves no physical mark—can take many forms, including emotional manipulation and neglect, verbal and psychological abuse.
As Jean-Claude Chalmet, founder and lead psychotherapist at The Place Retreats in Bali expertly illustrates, “You can’t take an x-ray or an MRI of emotional abuse. If you think about a drop of water falling down on marble. It will not do anything on the first day, or the first week or even the first month, perhaps not even the first year. But after 20 years it will have made holes in the marble.” This is a perfect example of how emotional abuse can slowly destroy a person.
The Types and Impact of Emotional Abuse
Emotional neglect involves failing to provide emotional support, care, or attention to someone who needs it, while verbal abuse uses words to harm or control another person and may often include name-calling, yelling, or insults. Psychological abuse relates to manipulation of emotions, thoughts, or beliefs in order to control or harm another individual.
All forms of emotional abuse can be equally damaging and harmful.
According to a study on emotional abuse in intimate relationships, it was found that “severe emotional abuse can be as damaging as physical abuse and contribute to depression and low self-esteem.” The findings of this study also supported the views that emotional abuse could contribute to chronic health conditions.
Other studies have shown that “emotional abuse may be the most damaging form of maltreatment causing adverse developmental consequences equivalent to, or more severe than, those of other forms of abuse.”
The impact of emotional abuse can be profound and long-lasting, creating:
anxiety,
shame,
fear,
confusion and
feelings of worthlessness.
It can also cause physical health problems, such as:
headaches,
gastro-intestinal distress, and
other stress-related illnesses.
In addition, a person may experience:
insomnia,
difficulty concentrating and
social withdrawal or loneliness.
People who have experienced emotional abuse may recall the incidents of abuse and have adverse emotional reactions and heightened physical sensations that are hard to manage and regulate due to changes in the nervous system and brain.
Left untreated, the trauma of emotional abuse has many long-term consequences and can also lead to the development of unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse or self-harm.
Recognizing Emotional Abuse
Recognizing that you are being abused and controlled can be incredibly difficult, as it often doesn’t leave physical scars or bruises. With this silent abuse, the victim may not understand they are being abused, especially if the treatment has been ongoing for a long time.
Some of the most common signs of emotional abuse include feeling constantly criticized, belittled, and intimidated. It might also seem like you’re always walking on eggshells around the abuser, that you can’t make decisions without their approval, and somehow you’re always made to blame for every problem in the relationship.
Emotional abuse can be insidious and can often make you feel like you are the problem.
How to Start the Healing Process
If you have experienced any form of emotional abuse, it’s crucial to remember the abuse is never your fault and you are not alone.
According to the University of Rochester Medical Center, emotional abuse continues to be reported more often than either physical or sexual abuse and accounts for nearly half the violence against women.
Recognizing the signs of emotional abuse and its negative impact on your life can help you start the healing process.
Here are some steps for moving forward with your healing journey.
Seek Professional Help
Consider seeking the help of a mental health professional, such as a qualified trauma therapist who can guide you through the process of accessing your feelings and developing coping strategies to manage the impact of the abuse. The right therapist will also help you identify patterns of behavior and provide you with the necessary tools to rebuild your self-esteem and confidence.
Build a Support Network
If possible, try to surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can offer emotional support and encouragement. You may find joining a support group for survivors of emotional abuse to be therapeutic. Often, talking to people who have been through similar experiences can provide a sense of validation and help you realize that you are not alone.
Practice Healthy Habits
Taking care of yourself is vital for the healing and recovery process. Make sure you are getting enough rest, eating a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables, and prioritizing your physical health with exercise and Vitamin D. Taking care of your body vastly helps to improve your mental health as well.
Establish Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries with the abuser, or cutting off contact altogether, can be an important step in the healing process and crucial to your own well-being and safety. This can help you regain a sense of control over your life and move forward with your healing journey.
Learn to Love Yourself
Emotional abuse can cause a great deal of damage to your self-esteem and self-worth. Learning to love and accept yourself is an important part of the healing process. You are worthy of love and respect!
Recovering from Emotional Abuse at The Place
The Place Retreats for psychotherapy and family therapy in Seminyak, Bali, offers specialized treatments for those recovering from the trauma of emotional abuse.
The centre, founded by world-renowned psychotherapist Jean-Claude Chalmet, treats guests in luxury packages for one week to 90 days. Together with Kundalini yoga and meditation, The Place has everything you need for your recovery journey.
Contact us for the first step on your healing path.
