Vulnerability and Self-Care are not Weak: Redefining Masculinity and MentalHealth for "Movember"
Men grow up hearing "Man Up" and "Real Men Don't Cry". They are taught that showing any sign of vulnerability is a weakness.
Indeed, several famous advertising campaigns and brands perpetuate this traditional, rigid notion of what it means to be a "real man".
For example, sports advertising is notorious for this messaging. The NFL's "No Pain, No Gain", "Leave It All on the Field", and "Play Through the Pain" push the idea that without toughness or resilience, you'll be lacking.
Jack Daniels whiskey promotes a masculine, independent spirit and toughness with "Make It Count." The alcohol brand encourages men to unwind and bond while drinking but always maintain their composure, strength, and control.
Even car companies perpetuate this idea like Ford's "Built Tough" slogan. The concept shows the strength and reliability of Ford vehicles while representing resilience, durability, and power—traits often linked with masculinity.
What does this teach? The idea is that toughness and invulnerability are desirable traits in men.
Boys start to hear this at a young age, and by the time they are men, the message is crystal clear: To be masculine, you must be tough, strong, resilient, and stoic.
When a "tough guy" ideal is prized, men are often discouraged from expressing vulnerability or deviating from these stereotypes. As a result, men don't seek help over mental health concerns or show vulnerability out of fear of being seen as weak and not in control of themselves.
Movember: Redefining Masculinity and Mental Health
One of the many ways men are starting to address their mental health is through the International "Movember" Men's Health Awareness Month. Every November, "Movember" highlights the most critical men's health issues including mental health and suicide prevention.
This 20-year-old campaign started with 30 Australian men who wanted to start a movement for men's health. Today, this global movement of 6 million men and their supporters has funded over 1,320 men's health projects around the world, leading to men living healthier, longer lives.
From mass media campaigns aimed at encouraging young men to talk about their mental health to hosting "mental fitness workshops" for over 8,000 teenage rugby league players, their parents, and sports coaches at the 2022 Rugby League World Cup, Movember's messages clearly challenge the status quo and encourage teens and young men to redefine masculinity and self-care.
Troubling Stats and Tough Conversations
For too many men, their mental health struggles often go unrecognised, undiagnosed and untreated as they aren't comfortable with reaching out and talking about their feelings. Due to widespread stigma, they've been raised to be tough and handle their problems without burdening anyone or showing any signs of weakness.
The message is clear from a young age: Do not show your vulnerable emotions. The facade of this image can be seen as early as preteens, with boys strutting about the schoolyard like proud peacocks.
When men are going through an obvious rough patch, they might not feel comfortable talking about it (even if they want to). But when you hold it all in and never learn how to express your feelings, the result can be overwhelming and result in relationship problems, mental health issues, and even suicide.
The sobering statistics show the true impact of staying silent.
Suicide is a leading cause of death for men under age 50. Each year, suicide claims nearly 800,000 lives. This is nearly double the number lost to homicide. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), men account for 75% of all suicides. For every individual who dies by suicide, about 20 others make an attempt. The impact extends far beyond each loss, leaving behind family members, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances; at least 7 to 10 people are directly affected by each death.
Over 90% of deaths by suicide are due to an undiagnosed mental illness or addiction. Studies suggest that up to 60% of suicide cases involve major depression, highlighting the critical need to highlight mental health support and intervention. The Movember movement shows the power of how having open conversations about men's health and self-care can save lives.
Make no mistake: keeping quiet can be deadly.
Your Vulnerability is Your Superpower
Slowly, society is letting go of the idea that vulnerability equates to weakness. One of the most courageous things men can do is open up and show their emotions and flaws. Does that leave you open to judgment? Yes. But it also leaves you open to receiving and being seen. When you put up invisible walls to protect yourself and maintain control, you're shutting everyone else out. Letting others in helps you grow and build emotional resilience as you learn to accept support.
Learning how to be vulnerable will transform your relationships as you let people see the "you" behind the wall, the real you. If people don't really know you, they might not trust you enough to have deep, honest connections. When you open up with your vulnerability, you create trust and more meaningful relationships.
Lately, quite a few prominent male role models have started openly sharing their mental health struggles, showing that just because you're in a high-profile position in politics, sports, or entertainment doesn't mean you're immune to mental health challenges.
British Royal Prince Harry has been increasingly open about the emotional impact of his mother's death and his own mental health journey.
The Olympic swimming champion, Michael Phelps, has been remarkably candid about his battles with depression and suicidal thoughts and encouraging others to seek help.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, the epitome of incredible "masculine" strength—openly discusses his experiences with depression.
Singer Shawn Mendes famously cancelled his entire sold-out tour due to mental health struggles, anxiety and the pressure of fame.
By being truthful about mental health issues, these powerful public figures have shown how vulnerability can indeed be a powerful aspect of masculinity.
Be the Example
You can't fix everyone's problems, but you can help others. When you model vulnerability and self-care, you're showing others that you are a strong enough man to be there for them.
If you see a male family member or friend who is anxious or obviously having a hard time, reach out and start the conversation. Ask how he's feeling and mention any changes you've noticed. Still trying to figure out what to say? Movember suggests a prompt like, "You haven't seemed yourself lately – are you feeling OK?"
Most of us will automatically answer "I'm fine" even when we're not. So, if your instinct is that something is off, keep reaching out. Maybe they are ready to talk, maybe not, but either way, you've let them know you care and you're available to listen.
The first step in looking out for other men is reaching out and showing that vulnerability is powerful. It builds deeper connections and allows us to live more authentically.
You Don't Have to Do This Alone
Men often feel like they have to handle all of life's challenges on their own, without any outside help. In reality, showing vulnerability and asking for help is the most courageous sign of strength. After all, who doesn't need a close friend, a family member, or a mentor to lean on? But sometimes we need even more.
The Place Retreats is the perfect place to start your path to redefining your masculinity and improving your mental health. We understand that mental health affects every aspect of life, and we're here to help. Join us to discover how one of our award-winning, tailor-made, luxury retreats can help you redefine manhood. Contact us today for a no-obligation conversation.